This past month has been a lesson for me about preparation and what that entails –– or not. I have always thought if I wanted to do something that would significantly change my life, that first I needed to prepare. For instance: learn more, consider all approaches, make adjustments in my life as may needed. Then, I would be ready.
Such was the case with me when I began to consider getting a dog. I have thought off and on through the years that I would like to have a dog, but I was gone long hours from my house, usually working. Last year when I shut down my communications practice, the thought re-surfaced. Maybe now was the time to get a dog, now that I was home more.
This thought was spurred on by my neighbor Sherry, who owns, breeds, and trains Bearded Collies. During the pandemic, the two of us became close, creating our own bubble. It was a natural. We are two older women –– she, a widow; I have always been single. It wasn’t long before I began helping her more and more with dogs, including helping with the birth of two litters. There will be another litter later this fall, and I was leaning toward keeping one of the puppies –– meaning I bought a dog dish and water bowl I saw at a thrift shop and picked up a dog crate at my church rummage sale. But I made it clear to Sherry that these purchases were not to be taken as a commitment on my part. I wanted more time to think if getting a dog was right for me. After all, I was looking at a 12 to 15-year commitment. She understood.
“I learned not to count on anything until it happens,” she said.
A RESCUE
Five weeks ago, Sherry got a text from the owner of one of the pups from last summer’s litter. The woman could no longer keep the dog. Apparently, the pup had become very reactive –– barking, and lunging at all matter of things and people, so she was giving the dog back to Sherry.
This owner lives in Canada, four hours north of the border. Within three days Sherry was on the road heading north to rescue one of her babies. Sherry told me that she expected it would take two months of good training to get the dog under control. She knew it was possible because the dog was basically still a pup, but it would involve a lot of work. We touched on the topic that maybe I would eventually take the dog, after she was trained. That was the end of the discussion.
The day Sherry left to drive to Canada, I stayed behind to take care of her dogs. When she returned, they were not happy. Not only had she been gone for more than ten hours, but she also brought an interloper. The poor rescue was beside herself. She had been taken from everything with which she was familiar to spend hours and hours in a car, and now she had four strange dogs barking at her.
THE BEGINNING
When things become chaotic with Sherry’s dogs, my normal question is: What do you want me to do? And Sherry responds: Crate Leroy or Take Finney outside or Get them a treat. That is, she gives some direction that will help calm the situation.
When I asked Sherry that question that night, she took a breath and said, “Take Rosie home.”
Oh.
“I need to calm my guys down, and they won’t quiet down with Rosie here.”
Okay. (Gulp)
Thus, I became a dog mama.
The first couple of weeks were rough. I felt overwhelmed. I didn’t know what I was doing, and my confidence was low. I suspect it is a feeling many parents of newborns know.
At one point, following a bad day when I was questioning everything I was doing, Sherry asked me to think carefully: Was I able to keep Rosie?
“If you can’t keep her, I need to know very soon to make other arrangements,” said Sherry.
I took the matter to an old high school friend, a therapist who has had dogs all her life.
“I am going to say yes, that I will keep her. Am I crazy?”
“Of course, you are crazy. We all are,” she said.
Fortunately, I have an expert dog trainer next door.
NOT AS PLANNED
As one of the producers of the lovely, whimsical StoryPeople creations, Gabriel Andreas writes in his piece Deep End, “… the closest any of us really get to being ready is feeling not ready and then doing it anyway.”1
And that is just what I am doing.
What about Sherry training the dog for two months, then, only then, I would adopt her? Well, often things don’t work out the way we plan. Sometimes they turn out better. That is what I am finding out five weeks into opening my home to a four-legged who needed a place to belong. One who needed discipline, direction, and love. Was I up for the challenge? I had my doubts. Was I ready for this responsibility? Nope. Have I made mistakes in caring for Rosie and training her up to now? Yep. Does she belong here? Of course. Do I love her? Without a doubt.
AN UNKNOWN PRAYER
So yes, I am keeping her, even though I have no idea what I am saying yes to. But isn’t that always the case? I had no idea what graduate school would be like. What my first professional job would be like, or any new job would be like for that matter. What any relationship I entered into would be like. But somehow, I rose to the occasion, as I trust I will now. Yes, I will make mistakes along the way. That too is part of the learning, part of the experience that makes it all worthwhile.
So, my attractive, orderly home is no more. An old quilt covers the couch. Dog bones and chewy toys are scattered here and there –– no matter how often I return them to their baskets. And sweeping floors has become a daily exercise, as my long hair, silver girl regularly tracks inside bits of bark from a stick she was chewing and pieces of leaves from when she was rolling in the grass. My self-centered life, when I only had me to take care of, has been totally upended, without warning, without my having adequate time to prepare. And I am finding that is not a bad thing at all.
“What happened to the two months of training?” I said this morning, poking Sherry as we walked all our dogs together. She just smiled. Not only does she see Rosie improving in her behavior every day, but she sees my own confidence growing. Yeah, I am doing this.
My Rosie has become an answer to unknown prayer.
FOR REFLECTION: How do you make significant decisions in your life? Do you give them careful thought or do you act more spontaneously? Have you found one to be better than the other? Are there times when you found changes in your life, while unplanned, proved to be best in the long run? Does reflecting on those times make change easier to accept?
1 https://www.storypeople.com/products/deep-end-prints?variant=32107322114159
Top image: Barbara Lyghtel Rohrer
Side image: Pixabay/Planeta.
