“Only a contemplative mind can hold our fear, confusion, vulnerability, and anger and guide us toward love. –– Richard Rohr
My house, a Cape Cod, was built in 1954 at the end of a lane. The land is flat, wide enough for six houses, before sloping down to a creek. The hillside is wooded, so that provides some stabilization. But the ground continually shifts, as the cracks in my foundation attest.
We like to think of Earth as something stable, I once told an engineer assessing my property, but it really is dynamic. He agreed.
I do not think my house is at risk of collapsing or disappearing over the hill, but I am aware of its instability, which I have shored up with underpinning and then –– kidding myself –– by caulking cracks, thinking that by doing so, I am doing something structural when I know my efforts are purely cosmetic.
ME AND MY HOUSE
I have long identified with this house, as if it and my being are one and the same –– we were born the same year. As true with my house, I too have cracks that direct my life more than I find reasonable, let alone understand.
And just as I can see the cracks in the foundation of my house but not the shifts in the ground underneath, I am not always able to see the cause of some of my actions. What is unseen has impact.
This brings to my mind the work of Carl Jung.
THE UNCONSCIOUS ROLE
A significant part of the work of Jung was the role that the unconscious plays in our life. The psychologist identified part of the unconscious as the shadow –– the part of oneself containing the disowned parts we refuse to acknowledge, hidden from our awareness. Per Jung, the life’s work of an individuated person is to uncover our shadow and own its contents.
One way to claim this shadow and move toward wholeness is to recognize strong patterns of emotions that are triggered by the action of another. This can point to the same trait suppressed within. Of course, to be successful in this work, total self-honesty is essential.
For example, not recognizing or doubting one’s strong leadership abilities can be a positive trait that is being denied. Failing to see how one can be domineering, how it makes one angry when confronted with the same in others, can be a negative trait that needs to be addressed.
I was foolish enough, when first introduced to the work of Carl Jung in a graduate theology class, to think I had no shadow. I can see myself sitting in that classroom thinking that I am aware of all my emotional issues and triggers. I believed I had no unconscious controlling behaviors. (Fortunately, I did not voice this conviction aloud.)
MY OWN CRACKS
Our culture places significant emphasis on success and upward mobility. And as many in society, I have directed much energy toward not failing. Yet, as Richard Rohr writes, “One of the great surprises on the human journey is that we come to full consciousness precisely by … facing our own contradictions and making friends with our own mistakes and failings.”1
In other words, as a close friend says, we are works-in-progress.
I see how my shadow, how my failures and selfish choices, as well as gifts and abilities I doubt or choose to ignore, are the cracks in the house occupied by my spirit.
LETTING IN THE LIGHT
I am learning that my own personal “cracks” are not defects but part of who I am, just as they are part of the character of my house. So I do what I can to address my shortcomings, just as I work to summon the courage to embrace my talents. I see how cracks, my own shadow, are just what it means to be human.
Leonard Cohen’s famous line, the cracks are how the light gets in, is not simply beautiful poetry.2 It is a truth that offers a way of seeing.
My job is to let the light come through the cracks, illuminating and revealing the patterns that give direction to who I am and how I am to move forward.
FOR REFLECTION: What is your understanding of your own shadow? How do you or can you address the shadow parts of yourself in a way that leads to living more fully, more authentically as the human being you were born to be?
1 Richard Rohr, “Shadowing,” Daily Mediations, September 8, 2019. https://cac.org/daily-meditations/shadowboxing-2019-09-08/
2 Leonard Cohen, “Anthem,” There is a crack, a crack in everything / That’s how the light gets in.
Top image: Pixabay/PublicDomainPictures
Midtext image: Pixabay/Peter H.
Side image: Pixabay/Avelino Calvar Martinez
